Recipes!

I'm going to start posting my recipes in this post, and just edit it as I add stuff. Most of these recipes I found online, but have made slight changes to. I'm just sexy that way. However, many of these are from my mommy. I'll start with the things I have actual recipes to, then move on to directions to stuff that's less precise, like fried rice, salmon, steak, etc.

I'm a sexy cook.

Pumpkin Muffins

Mix:

2 cups pumpkin

2 eggs

½ cup oil

½ cup melted butter

½ cup water

2 cups sugar

1 cup brown sugar

Mix separately in bowl and add to above mixture:

3 ½ cups flour

2 tsp. Cinnamon

½ tsp. Cloves

1 ¼ tsp. Salt

1 tsp. Soda

2 ½ tsp. Baking powder

Sprinkle cinnamon sugar onto muffin tops before baking. I mean, lay it the HELL on.

Bake at 375 degrees

For regular muffins: 20-25 minutes--18-24 muffins.

For mini muffins: 10-12 minutes--5-6 dozen minis.

They're best overnight.

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Miso Soup

4 cups water

2t fish stock. I forgot the bloody name. Little granules.

3-4 TB Miso Paste

Boil the freaking water with the fish stuff. When it comes to barely a boil, start dissolving the miso in it as quickly as possible. The less boiling the miso does, the better. You want it just boily enough to dissolve. If you're adding tofu, add before the miso paste. Seaweed? Right before you serve it, or it'll dissolve and be disgusting. Add very little or you'll just have salad.

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Macaroni Salad

This is one of my imprecise ones.

You're gonna want a bag of macaroni. About a poundish. More if you want, and scale accordingly. Not elbow macaroni, but little circles about a cm or less long. You're also going to want to hard boil some eggs and mince them up. I'd say about 4 of them. A good couple handfulls of chopped celery, a couple of pickles, diced, some minced onion (tablespoon or two), and some spices I'll list.

Cook the macaroni al dente. It'll soften up a lot in this process. Drain it, and put it in a big bowl. Dump in about a cup or so of mayo, the listed veggies, and a good few tablespoons of mustard. My favorite is Jack Daniels old no7. It's sexy. Mix it all up, adding more mayo if needed, and use garlic salt (my favorite thing ever) and pepper to taste. Then add a teaspoon or two of paprika, to taste. Put it in the fridge overnight, checking every few hours. If it gets dry, add milk, not more mayo. I always use skim milk, personally.

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Thankfully Not Buttermilk Pancakes

1 ½ cups flour

3 ½ tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

1 tb sugar

1 ¼ cup milk

1 egg

3 tb melted butter

Mix the dry ingredients first, then add in the wet ones. The key to pancakes is to stir them as little as possible. Then cook them... like pancakes. Not rocket science.

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Starbucks Cookies

These are copycat cookies to the white chocolate/cranberry cookies that Starbucks makes. My mom did this, and it's almost impossible to do right. I still need to attempt.... But they rock.

Beat:

2 sticks unsalted butter, room temp

1 c firmly packed brown sugar

½ cup sugar

Add:

2 eggs, room temp

1 t vanilla

Mix together:

1 ½ c flour

1 t baking soda

1 t cinnamon

½ t salt

Add:

3c oats

1 ½ c Craisins

1 pkg white baking chips

Bake 350 degree oven with parchment paper, 12 minutes for big cookies, flatten with pancake turner, bake 2 more minutes, then cool for a while.

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Banana Bread

2 c flour

1 tsp baking soda

¼ tsp salt

½ cup butter

1 cup brown sugar

2 eggs

2 1/3 cups mashed banana

Mix very well, bake at 350 for an hour for whole batch.

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Cobbler!

Batter:

2/3 cup sugar

2/3 cup flour

1/3 cup milk

1/8 tsp salt

¾ tsp baking powder

You're also going to ready fruit for it. This is also not rocket science. I use blackberries. I basically dump them in a saucepan with sugar and cook them down until they look and taste like jam. Then dump them in a pan, pour the batter on top, and bake it at 350 till it looks... cooked, I guess.

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Pizza Dough

(my pride)

1 ½ Cups warm water

1 package yeast

2 ½ cups bread flour

1 cup semolina flour

2 tb olive oil

2 tsp salt

1 tsp sugar

mix the yeast with the bloody water and sugar. Let it sit a minute. Then add the salt and olive oil, stirring. Then dump in the flour mix, stirring it more. Knead it up and dump it in a bowl covered with plastic for a day or day and a half. Then pop it in the fridge another day and a half to two days. A few hours before making it, take it out. A total of 3 days should pass.

Roll this shit out. I use a rounded tumbler instead of a rolling pin. It should be 1/8 inch thin. I mean, put some MUSCLE into it. Takes some practice. Then put some light sauce on it, sprinkle cheese LIGHTLY (doesn't take much, this is a thin pizza) and pop on toppings. I love basil, salami, and gourmet pepperoni. Bake at 500 degrees (hotter is better ) for about 5 minutes. Check it, though. It's picky that hot.

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Biscuits

3 cups flour

1 tb baking powder

1 tb sugar

1 tsp salt

¾ tsp cream of tartar

¾ cup butter

1 cup milk

450 degrees. Mix all but butter and milk. Cut in butter until resembles crumbs, put milk in well. Stir and knead as little as possible. ¾ inch thick, 2.5 inches around.

Bake 10-14 mins.

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Fudge

3 cups sugar

1 ½ sticks butter

Mix on medium heat then add:

1 small can evaporated milk (2/3 cup)

1 package chocolate

1 ½ cups marshmallow cream

Boil 4-5 minutes then take off heat and add.

1 tsp vanilla

It's freaking hot, so let it cool in a pan.

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Pretzels: Super sexy gods of dough.

1 ½ Cup Warm Water

1 1/8 tsp yeast

2 tb brown sugar

(Sit 8 minutes)

2 tb butter, warm.

1 1/8 tsp salt

1 cup bread flour

3 cups flour

Knead, Rise at least 2 hours. I prefer overnight, though. I also coat the bowl in shortening. I think it just keeps them better. Add flour if they're a bit too sticky. You want them to be soft when you roll them out into ropes with your hands. The softer and thinner, the better. Ideally, they should be 1/4 inch thick. I twist them rather than pretzel them. Dip them in a warm water bath with baking soda and put them on either parchment paper or a silpat (zomg silpat) and bake at 400 degrees for 5-7 minutes. Brush with melted butter and sprinkle with sea salt or kosher salt and serve. Also makes pretzel dogs!

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Spinach Pasta

In a food processor: (I know, blasphemy)

8 oz spinach

2 eggs

1 tb Olive Oil

1 tsp salt.

When it's good and... pastey and tiny as much as possible, mix in with a cup of bread flour and a cup of semolina flour. If it's still wetish, put in more bread flour. Knead the holy hell out of it for 5-10 minutes, then put it in a bowl under plastic wrap for 10 minutes or more.... just not too long. Then roll it out thin, but not THAT thin. I'd say 1mm. If you can see through it, it's about half the thickness you want. Cut it into strips or squares, for ravioli. For ravioli, I mix ricotta cheese, egg, garlic, salt, some pepper, parmesean, romano, asiago.. etc.. and put a tiny bit of the mixture on a 2" square of dough and put another square on top, sealing it with a knife. Dry the pasta out for noodles if you'd like, and boil them as usual.

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Best Sugar Cookies Evars

Cream together: (cheat if you WANT to...)

1 ½ cups sugar

1 cup butter

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

Add in:

2 ¾ cups Flour

1 tsp baking soda

½ tsp baking powder

8-10 mins @ 375